Amateur theatre in Kelvedon, Essex

Auditions

October 2026.

Synopsis:

Moist von Lipwig was a con artist, a fraud and a man faced with a life choice: be hanged, or put Ankh-Morpork’s ailing postal service back on its feet. It was a tough decision.

With the help of a golem who has been at the bottom of hole in the ground for over two hundred years, a pin fanatic and Junior Postman Groat, he’s got to see that the mail gets through. In taking on the evil chairman of the Grand Trunk Semaphore Company, and a midnight killer, he’s also got to stay alive.

Getting a date with Adora Bell Dearheart would be nice, too.

In the mad world of the mail, can a criminal succeed where honest men have failed and died? Perhaps there’s a shot at redemption for man who’s prepared to push the envelope. . .

Main Characters

Lord Vetinari (M)

Moist von Lipwig (M)

Drumknott (M/F)

Mr Pump / Anghammarad (M)

Groat (M)

Stanley (M)

Adora Belle Dearheart (F)

Reacher Gilt (M)

Minor Characters
(These will be double, tripled or quadrupled up depending on the number of actors we have. 

A lot of these parts can also be played by male or female actors)

Mr Slant

Crispin Horsefly

Wilkinson

Trooper

Big Dave

Pin Customer

Young Mr Parker

Young Mrs Parker

Old Mr Parker

Igor

Aggy

Robed Man with Boots

Mr Spool

Sacharissa Crisplock

 Miss Maccalariat

Gryle

Bill

Harry

Maitre d’

Deaconess of Offler

Greenyham

Stowley

Pony

Nutmeg

Mad Al

Sane Alex

Ridcully

Stibbons

Collabone (Pre-recorded video)

Readings / Auditions

 We will be holding open auditions at The Institute, Kelvedon on:
Sunday 12th July at 6.00pm
Tuesday 14th July at 8.00pm
Thursday 16th July at 8.00pm
If you are interested in taking part in this production but cannot come along on these dates, or you require more information, or just want to register your interest, please contact Barry French – barry@barryfrench.co.uk

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